


The Spaces Between (Our Hearts and Our Minds)

by Gee_Writes



Series: Skinny Jeans and Khaki [9]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Drabble Collection, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Greenie!Gon, Hipster!Killua, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-06 01:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1839715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gee_Writes/pseuds/Gee_Writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short fics from the Skinny Jeans and Khaki series. </p><p>Little moments, day-to-day, the pieces we forget amongst our lives.<br/>Just a small collection.</p><p>Modern(?) AU where Killua realises life might not be such a drag, if Gon's the one he's sharing it with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love Makes the World Go 'Round, Except For When It Stops It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after [Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones (But Words Will Always Heal Me)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1817374), in which Killua enjoys.

Killua could have sworn the world became softer overnight.

Or maybe brighter, more vibrant.

It was hard to tell when it seemed like his eyes were in a state of constant refocus, his mind stuttering every time he felt Gon’s tickling breath on his neck, steady exhales as he slept.

And yet,

None of the uncertainty, none of the clumsy distractions he usually entertained had started yet.  The inside of his mind was quiet, so much so he could hear the steady thump of his heartbeat, could feel it match up with the one pressed to his back.

And in some far off place that hadn’t seemed to awaken yet, he pondered that maybe this was something that needed to be discussed.  Was this something that changed things? Or was it instead one of those things they didn’t have words for; that they just assumed.

Perhaps it was both.

Perhaps it was neither.

Perhaps Killua had finally lost his mind.

The cotton wool and spun sugar that had seemingly replaced his normal brain function seemed to indicate so.

So instead of being shocked when the arm curled around his middle tightened, the whisper soft of his name on a sleepy murmur, the nuzzling of a nose to his neck, he settled into it, comfortable and at peace.

It was early morning and the world had changed.


	2. Scientifically Speaking, It's Only Natural

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set just after [Cufflinks Do Not Maketh the Man](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1752524), the promised movie night.
> 
> Where Killua loves his cheezy horror and monster movies, and Gon takes these things way, way too seriously

It was ridiculous.

The amount of fake blood, CGI monster and high-pitched screams was everything Killua loved about this genre, and this film in particular seemed to be tailor made for him.  Gon was lazily chewing popcorn beside him, eyes steadily following the lazy acting as a nondescript blonde was being pulled apart.

Half a dozen snack foods littered the coffee table in front of the couch, both boy’s ties crumpled amongst them - discarded as soon as they had returned home.

“Hey, Killua?”

“Mmn?”

“How does the swamp monster survive the Padokea climate?”

“Gon, it’s a movie.  It doesn’t have to be scientifically accurate.”

“Yeah, but…”

Sighing and shaking his head, he just looked to his best friend.

“Not everything is going to worry about that kind of thing.  The movie wanted a monster that ripped up people with excessive blood and vigor; I think they did that pretty well.”

“True… I just think that it would have worked better if it was set somewhere in the Mitene Union.  Lots of swamp there.  Lots of ways to not find help when faced with monster attack too.”

“Then just imagine that it’s set in NGL or something.”

“But the accent’s all wrong.  And the hero wouldn’t have a gun in NGL”

“Gon, it’s not important.  We can watch that documentary about the nocturnal life of the Visca Forest Reserve next if you want, that’ll be completely accurate.”

“OK, thanks Killua!” Large grin way too close for comfort.  “Do you want me to get some more drinks?  We have some tropical juice in the fridge,” nodding at the empty glass amongst the mess on the table.

“Heh, really Gon?  Soda or nothing.”

“Ehh? I’ll see what there is,” getting up to check their remaining groceries.

Killua slumped back into the couch, returning to the film that had been playing in the background to their talk.  A muscular hero strode into frame, gun firing at the badly CG’d monster.

‘ _Didn’t you know?  It’s the survival of the fittest ‘round here!’_

Now that Gon had mentioned it, the film was really bugging him.  Harsh accented actors, and really, maybe Killua should have noticed that an arid place like Padokea shouldn’t really have swamps, let alone a _swamp monster._

Gon’s suggestions just seemed to make more sense in retrospect.

He was getting annoyed about the inaccuracies of a stupid monster movie.  One he was watching _because_ it was so hilariously bad.

Dammit Gon.  
This was ridiculous.


	3. The Growing Pains of Planting Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua reflects, wherein he realizes things can change, and that Gon and Alluka are usually the ones responsible.

Happiness was fleeting.

That was what Killua had always thought, with nothing in his life really offering comfort before he met Gon, stuck in pretention and disinterest.

But he _had_ met Gon, and all things had changed.

It was slight, at first. Killua suddenly realizing that he was taking photos just to see Gon's reactions to them, or when he started humming halfway through folding laundry, or laughing at the stupid side notes littering the grocery list Gon had given him. Life was getting better.

And then bigger things started happening.

“The Great Rescue” as it became known as had kickstarted it, and things grew from there. Sharing a bed had been something of a non-issue between the two friends for a while, but now there was a closeness, limbs and sheets tangling as the two fell into sleep, warm, together. Killua would fall asleep to his best friend's rhythmic breathing, and wake up to a sleepy mumble the next day. And every day it became a little more normal, a little more routine. Killua found himself slipping a little further out of the control his mind had placed on his emotions. A little further into love. But love was too big, too scary to think about, so instead was left alone. Unchecked.

The second rescue they orchestrated was his sister; a spur of the moment decision after Gon gave him the courage to consider it. Alluka popped into their routine, and again life got better. Literal sunshine and daisies painted the day-to-day, constant visits to the park to make up for lost time and large white and yellow flowers painted on the walls of her room. Reminders she was free; that they both were. But the largest change Alluka brought with her was the emotional prodding. Poking at feelings he had all but disregarded, and ripping them raw. But it was the push that he needed. That let him know that those unchecked feelings had grown and expanded out of his control, and ultimately were blossoming hugely and magnificently. Embarassingly so.

So he changed it all in a quick moment.

And learnt that happiness could endure.


	4. S.W.A.K. Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alluka and Gon have a talk about the most important person to them.
> 
> Set right after [Every Day is a New One, After All](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1902111).

Alluka was a woman on a mission.

It was less than 12 hours before she confronted him.  Made sure her brother was out at school before she sat herself down next to Gon.

“So you told him.”

“Yeah.”

“I told you he was slow to realize things.”

“I didn't think he was _that_ slow.”

The two shared a grin, giggles bubbling up between.

“He's slow, but we love him anyway.”

“Yep, he's very lovable, after all.”

Simultaneous sighs.

“What are we going to do?  He's hopeless.”

“We'll just have to keep assuring him when he's worrying.”

It wasn't usual, them talking without Killua, about Killua.  But today was different, today was new.

“Gon.”

“Yeah, Alluka?”

“Thank you.”

“Eh?  For what?  Your brother does that a lot too.  Thanking me for no reason.”

“You helped save me, Gon.  Let me stay here.  Spend the time with me when brother's at his classes.”

“Well, of course, Alluka.  You're important to the both of us.”

“But mostly, I want to thank you for making my brother happy.”

She looked at him with such conviction, such raw gratitude.  It reminded him of the other pair of blue eyes he knew, identical in every way.

“Heh.  Alluka, you've got it all wrong.”

Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise, before Gon fixes her with a warm smile, thoughtful expression in his eyes.

“Killua's the one that makes _me_ happy,” a beat, then a sigh, “he doesn't seem to understand that though.”

A hand reached over the table to place over his, patting slightly.

“I'm sure he'll realise that soon.  I know he will,” bright eyes sparkling, “my brother may be slow, but he's not _stupid_.  Not about important things.  You just have to make sure he doesn't think too much.”

Half a laugh. “How'm I supposed to do that?”

“Those kisses you give seem pretty effective.”

“I guess that's true,” a proper laugh rising up.

Pinkies out, they linked together.  Unspoken promise, for Killua.

“...and sealed with a kiss!”

She couldn't keep the giggles in.  Really, both boys were so hopeless.

Eh, whatever.

Her mission was accomplished.  Mostly.

 


	5. In Which We Compare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon muses hands. Companion piece to [Every Day is a New One, After All](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1902111).

Gon had always loved Killua’s hands, softer and cooler than his own, strong in a subtle way.  Long and dexterous fingers that impressed Gon in everything they did, nimble and artistic in ways Gon could only wish to imitate.  Every time Gon grasped his friend’s hand, every time Killua allowed it, he’d wonder – about how the edges of his fingernails always stayed sharp, whether his hands were ever warmed when they entwined their fingers, if he could trace the veins highlighted in the pale white of his skin.  He made it his mission to memorize every line and joint through touch alone.  Hoped Killua secretly did the same.

There was no real reason why they were holding hands now; there never was.  He never needed one aside from that he wanted to, grabbing Killua’s hand in his own whenever the whim arose.  It made doing things a little more difficult – especially when Killua looked like he had completely disconnected from the world around him – but Gon never minded, would never mind.  As far as he was concerned, this fragile link kept him grounded, kept Killua from drifting too far from reach.  It was timid and gentle.  And it was strong.

Just like Killua.


	6. building to breaking point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after [I found him between a reality and a nightmare](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2019732/chapters/4380570) and sometime before [evening chill, warmth of touch](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2118795/chapters/4622811)

After the first time, it was easier.

He'd slip it in between moments without consequence; punctuate important ones with it.

Those three little words.

 

In fact, it was becoming a bit of a problem.  
When he said it, Gon would too. Which would lead to smiling. And blushing. And kissing.  
And that lead to....

Well, Killua didn't really want to think about what that would lead to.

OK, not didn't _want_ to; more, didn't think it was _appropriate_ to.

 

His body, though, didn't seem to agree.

 

His only consolation in such situations was the fact that from the way Gon sometimes clenched his fists, the way he occasionally brushed up against him in bed, the way his eyes would cloud over as he'd stare, he wasn't the only one.

And some nights, Killua would bite his lip. Almost reach over. Almost pull Gon on top of him.  
But then he'd remember Alluka was home. Or the phone would ring. Or _something_.  
It was frustrating. He was _frustrated_.

They were reaching breaking point, he could feel it. It could be the next careful caress, the next gentle kiss.

The next whispered “I love you.”

 

It would be easy. Hopefully.


	7. Parallel Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right after [evening chill, warmth of touch](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2118795/chapters/4622811).
> 
> Both Killua and Gon's perspective.

They lay together, close.  
  


Sheets strewn and legs tangled, Gon petting back the white hair of his fringe. Soft murmurs, soft light. It hadn't been anything spectacular – hadn't been much at all – but it _had_ been perfect. For once he wasn't blushing, heart slow and rhythmic. Appreciating his partner beside him. Gon was beautiful, laid out and glowing golden. He was watching himself being watched, brown eyes following the silhouette of thin shoulders, down ribs. He looked at him with eyes so deep, Killua was sure he could read the universe within.  
  


Or maybe that was the afterglow talking.  
  


He wanted to lie here forever; a bubble of quiet. Maybe bridge the gap. Maybe get closer the next time, and the next.

But he had responsibilities. Real life to get to.  
  


Until he _absolutely_ had to go though, he wasn't moving.

 

* * *

 

Side-by-side they touched, closer than before.  
  


Killua was curled towards him, a mirror's image. He reached out to touch. To make sure this image of Killua worn and content was real; a vision of grace even whilst hazy. Alabaster skin warmed with happiness, instead of embarrassment. He was perfect – every groove and every hair – and he was Gon's. He wanted to burn the image into his brain – capturing every bead of sweat, every eyelash. The way the ring of colour in his eyes moved as his pupils dilated.  
  


He wanted to grab him, pin him, pour himself into him – wanted to be grabbed, pinned, poured into. To touch, to _feel_. Loved having those sharp blue eyes focused on him, looking at nothing but him. This instance, the next.

  
He loved him in this moment; just like every one before and after.

And he'd let him know it, too.  
  


Side-by-side until the world came calling.


	8. Simple Sensibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alluka's thoughts. The café in [evening chill, warmth of touch](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2118795/chapters/4652268).

Delser was smiling, that quiet, unassuming way he did. She couldn't hear his words, but his sentiment was clear. Or, at least, she thought so.

The café was crowded, warm air and atmosphere buzzing with the lunchtime rush. They were sitting across from each other, sharing a pot of tea – fragrant and sweet. Alluka would chat just to do something as they waited, would knowingly smile every time she caught Gon's eyes wandering to the table outside. 

Her brother was barely in profile from where she sat, but she was more interested in Delser's expressions anyhow. Sometimes his eyebrows would raise to his hairline, or the dimple in his cheek would lilt his smile _just so_. It was hard not to stare.

And every so often she'd catch him glancing back, eyes darting as he listened to her brother. She'd've felt more embarrassed at her blatant blushing if Gon had been paying attention to anything outside of the white head tilting and pale hands moving to emphasize a point. 

Their tea was cold but neither cared. Didn't give a second thought of leaving the table when they were beckoned over through the crowd.

Instead, they smiled.


	9. becoming the change you want to see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon reflects on how Killua has changed him.
> 
> How happy he is.

Gon had, once upon a time, been good at finding trouble.

He was happy with life, his situation; but had always been a fighter.   Whether it was protecting the neighbourhood animals or threatening punch-ups with people _much_ older than him, Gon had never shied from conflict.

Recently though, both the physical and verbal fights he’d fallen into had really dropped off.  It may have been due to the fact that wrong things were happening less and less; or _more likely_ because Killua had actively discouraged a lot of his stupider and brasher decisions as of late.

He still got annoyed, still felt the need to confront things he felt _really_ weren’t right; but instead of yelling and punching and otherwise roughhousing, a soft hand on his shoulder would remind him to take a breath.  To be proactive in positive change; rather than attacking the problem head on through brute force.

He was happier this way, too.  Felt better that he could come home without Killua worrying about his swollen eye or his broken arm.  Knew that his old behavior would worry the other more than Killua would ever admit to.  And, if he was honest, being with Killua gave him so much more fulfillment than any protest or fight ever could.

He hadn’t thought he had gone looking for trouble in life; but apparently – according to Killua – he did.


	10. Wanderlust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was quiet. The type of silence of held breaths.
> 
> Gon suggests a trip.

It wasn’t exactly the _best_ time when Gon suggested a trip – tangled in the sheets, panting hard – but nor was it a bad suggestion.  It had been a while since they had really spent any time together; adventuring, discovering, exploring together.

Back when Gon had first landed himself squarely in the middle of Killua’s life, they had done a lot; and whilst Killua wasn’t unhappy with their current situation, he felt that familiar wanderlust deep in his bones when it was suggested.  Whether it was waterfalls or mountains, endangered foxsquirrels or 500-year-old garganturtles, they’d experience it side-by-side.

Gon would suggest something to do with nature, animals; he always did.  Then it would follow that Killua would suggest some foreign city, or a concert.  The opposite side of the spectrum; that was how this game was played.  Eventually though, Killua would forfeit.  Allow Gon the win and enjoy himself more than he’d ever imagined he could.  Even if he did fall into freezing seawater, or have mud-stained hair for half a week. 

And Gon.  Gon would surprise him afterwards with tickets to see a band, or an art show, or whatever else Killua had suggested.  Tell him he was interested, when Killua _knew_ he’d done it as an apology.  Even though there was nothing to apologise for.  That there never was.

So, knowing that, he was prepared.  Had half a dozen places on the tip of his tongue, waiting.

What Gon suggested though was _not_ what he was expecting.

“Wait, you mean Whale Island as in _your_ Whale Island?”

“There’s only the one, Killua.”

It was quiet.  The type of silence of held breaths.

He had thought he was prepared for any situation; but this, this was hard.  He wanted to go.  He wanted to go so badly, but something deep inside of him made him pause.  It was irrational, he knew.  He’d met Gon’s aunt before – she was lovely, she liked him – there was no real reason to be wary.  But here he was, worried that something would go wrong.  That he’d ruin a part of Gon that was so important to him; proof that no matter what, Killua wasn’t a part of that world.

And that thought scared him.

It must have shown though, because Gon was touching his brow, brushing away his hair.  It was so gentle, so kind; a soft trepidation.  Gon was worried.  Worried that he wouldn’t go; didn’t want to go.  Worried about Killua, yet again.

With a quiet exhale, and obvious eye contact, he let Gon know.  That he wouldn’t want to go anywhere else.

And he smiled. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [wartransmission](http://archiveofourown.org/users/wartransmission/pseuds/wartransmission) as always, deserves all of my gratitude for not only putting up with me, but also this little story that has grown so much since it's inception. Thank you for everything friend!
> 
> If you want to leave me a message, or just chat HxH, my tumblr is compulsive-bibliotaph.tumblr.com
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/WritingGee)!


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